Animal Olympics

It's the Bank Holiday!! Darren and I had an all nighter, then he went into work today. What a Man.

As I type, we've been Tweeting and Facebooking. I've been developing my idea of the Animal Olympics I had at Cath's Wedding on Friday in the Lakes. 

Yes, with a few Warsteiners (and hopefully some voddies to come), I give you,  

Official Animal Olympics GB Team!!!!

Winter Olympics, Barnsley 2009:

 How ACE Animal Winter Olympics wud be; y'know, 

Sheep Skiing 

Chris the Gold Medalist, Barnsley Olympics 2009

Cow snowboarding, 

Freya Fresian celebrates her second 360degree flip that secured the Snowboarding Silver for Team GB.

Stoat figure-skating

Donald Stoat caught doping EPO shocker!!

Otter slalom

Audrey otter bemoans the early thaw that cost her the Bronze.

Summer Olympics, Wolverhampton, 2009; 

Vole archery 

Fred Vole couldn't hold the newly introduced regulation bow and arrow, which cost him a medal.

Aardvark decathlon

Malcolm in his run-up to the high-jump

Puppy boxing 

Gerald knocks out the opposition from Finland in a two-round bout, securing the Gold for Team GB

Kitteh 800m

Colin in action, breaking the Kitteh World Record. Afterwards, on the podium, he celebrated by cleaning his balls with his leg in the air in defiance

Llama gymnastics

Tracy shows that she's not just a pretty face, by winning the Silver in her 3rd Olympic victory

The Regeneration Game.

This is the new Doctor Who - Number Eleven... Curtis Stigers.

Oh, it's actually Matt Smith. Who hell he?

Now once you get past the fact that he looks like a fight between Nicko McBrain (the drummer out of Iron Maiden), Herman Munster and a fan of My Chemical Romance, PLUS getting your head round the idea that's he only bloody 26, he looks like a good choice. A bit emo, so that will keep the fangirls happy, not exactly a pretty boy and reportedly a good actor, plus he just looks a bit odd, and you need that. 

The only problem I've got now is that Tennant is so enshrined as the Doctor he's almost irreplaceable, in the same way that Tom Baker was back in 1981, or on a different slant, Brosnan as Bond. Daniel Craig didn't look like a Bond, and in some ways still doesn't, but the 007 films now are a great deal different from Pierce's time, and so Craig fits the newly defined role like a glove. Doctor Who's return in 2005 was very much a different beast to that which was dumped back in 1989, and Christopher Eccleston didn't look like right as a Time Lord, but his portrayal was so defining that you couldn't at that time see anybody else playing the Doctor as well as him. AND then along comes Tennant...

What am I trying to say? Well in the tradition of the Lock-In, I haven't a bloody clue. All I'm saying really is that Smith will be a Doctor... THE Doctor, whether we like it or not. Welcome to the TARDIS.    

Christmas Is Cool

Hellooooo and welcome to the Chrimbo edition of The Lock-In. 

In this edition, will shall first pay respects to the lost and well loved hero of Yule...the Artic Roll. 

Ahhh, yes, the Artic Roll, soooo yummy when you are 7, but not even Iceland- the crappy frozen food store- can sell it now. Probably due to Kerry Catona.

RIP the lovely Roll. 

[Right that's enough....you're on something...restrain her....NOW...oh Bee-Jeeezuz...-Ed.

Bizarre life with Darren....

Girls Aloud. Martina aka Tennis Goddess, New Order, Doctor Who, Motown,... Darren loves these seemingly incompatible things, and more...

Darren is the missing link between Civil Servants & real life... yes truly...

Darren at this moment in this time is compiling an MP3 collection of songs for his section do this week... Murder Mystery no less. Consequently he is choosing songs, carefully, to fit the mood...

TOM JONES!!

Motown

Al Green

Erasure

Girls Aloud

Beyonce

Katie Perry

Very very solemn.

He's wearing a Rod Stewart wig for it btw.

Oh god help me... I promised I would hang around but this is too much to bear, even for Oprah Winfrey or Jeremy Kyle.

Who gets my goat?

What the f...?

Taste Of The Forbidden Fruit (or Drinking on a skool night...)

Bleurrrrrarrrrrrrrghhhhhhh.

Only joking.

You have the best of intentions. You're tired and rationally, towards the end of a hard week, you should know you should have a bath and go to bed early.

But no.

For some unknown reason, the drive on the way home from the long slog at work results in a detour to the nearest offy. You are the reincarnation of the student of the 90s. For a moment as you grasp the bottle in one hand and the cold coin change in another, you feel that 20-something again. You're going home, vodka and diet coke safely stored so that when you reach your home you can knock a couple back "to the old days".

Retro is dead.

Long live the Wombles!

Fin.